It was a devastating experience when Sol, one of my closest friends, died at the age of 59. But before his departure, he taught me something of infinite value.
One day, over a post-tennis beer, Sol grumbled about an odd pain in his back. His doctor had sent him for some tests, and Sol would learn the results in a few days. I called Sol after his doctor’s appointment to set up our next tennis match. His wife Debbie answered. “Sol’s appointment didn’t go well,” she said. “He’s resting now. Why don’t you come over first thing tomorrow morning and let him tell you about it?”
Debbie was clearing away breakfast dishes when I arrived. She called Sol and started to cry. Sol came into the kitchen a few minutes later. It was the worst possible news; he had pancreatic cancer and, at most, three months to live.
A chill coursed through my body. Sol suggested we go to a nearby coffee shop. We walked in a grim silence. As we sat down, Sol broke the spell. “Well,” he said, “there’s one good thing. Yesterday I was dealing with about twenty different problems. Today, I have only one.”
He asked me to drop by their place in the evening to talk about treatment options. When I arrived, Sol was smoking marijuana, and he passed me a joint. A friend had suggested marijuana to help manage his stress. He was excited about an experience he’d had that afternoon. I assumed he’d come across a promising new treatment for pancreatic cancer. Instead, what I learned from Sol that evening was to have a major impact on the rest of my life.
Earlier in the day, while walking their dog, Sol’s mind was in a state of turmoil, obsessing about the cancer diagnosis. Unable to think clearly, he decided to focus on what he was doing, feeling, and seeing ─ in that moment. He consciously felt the warmth of the sun as it soaked into his shoulders, listened to the birds singing, and marveled at the beauty, vivid colors, and intricacies of the flowers in his neighbor’s garden. For a half hour, his mind was at peace.
That day, Sol discovered the wonders of mindfulness.
Before that, Sol had dismissed mindfulness as just some new-age concept. Now, he urged me to try it.
With no expectations of a cosmic breakthrough, I set out on a “mindful” walk before breakfast the next morning — a half-hour trek through a ravine near our home. I’d done the route hundreds of times, usually in the early morning. I’d use the time to plan the day ahead, and think through specific issues that needed to be addressed. My mind was elsewhere. But this day, I blocked out those thoughts. Instead, I paid close attention to the trees and wildflowers, listened to the birds, and stopped to watch the creek as it gurgled along. Never before had I noticed the watercress, its deep rich greenness. Then I saw a salamander swimming upstream. I became so engrossed by the salamander and the watercress that I lost track of time. A half hour evaporated.
When Sol and I met that evening, there was nothing new to report on the medical front. Instead, we talked all evening about living a mindful life. We both regretted not being aware of this phenomenon sooner.
Now, two or three times every day, I take a half-hour break to be mindful. Blocking all planning and problems from my mind, I usually take a walk to focus on the beauty of the world we live in.
At the end of these sessions, I always come away with renewed energy and a sense of wellbeing. And more often than not, the answers to problems and opportunities seem to arrive in my mind as if by magic. Sol left me with an invaluable gift, and for that I will be forever grateful.
Your Action Plan
For the next week, take however much time you can afford, whether it's an hour or fifteen minutes, and try going on a mindful walk. Pay attention to your surroundings and force yourself to be in the moment. If you turn it into a habit, you'll soon notice the effect it has on your wellbeing. If this article has prompted you to learn more about mindfulness, and how it can help you achieve a more fulfilling life, check out these links.
This one, from The Mayo Clinic, provides an introduction to the practice of meditation.
This link demonstrates specific activities through which you can enjoy the benefits of mindfulness.
Ron Hume
ron.hume@rogers.com
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As a 62 year old early retiree, I needed this today! My husband has decided we are moving to Tasmania - he is from that part of the world -and my anxious, hyper vigilant brain has been screaming and struggling ever since. I can't seem to find the positivity I had last week. Maybe it's the long months waiting for my Visa application, or packing all.of my crap, figure out the pet situation, LEAVING my home country and every family member. It's much more terrifying now than it was when I moved to Germany for work when I was 38. He says I can stay, but he's going. I will peruse your other sub stacks and see if any are about new beginnings. Oh, and I came via Jan's link to you!
A beautiful essay, Ron, with important wisdom to impart. Thank you.